The oky’s Podcast

You’re listening to OKY. The place where we discuss what we believe and why we believe it to be true! After a week talking about sex and sexuality, yesterday we wrestled with a great question from Grace who asked, “Is it just me, or does it seem like people really do frown upon homosexuality sin more than others? And if yes, why do you think that is? In my opinion, I think people should show love and empathy to others, even if they are sinners. And what if you have a close family member or friend who is gay, aren’t we supposed to love people no matter what?”
 
I wanted to talk about another piece of her question. How do we actually handle the LGBTQ community, especially when they are our family members? 
 
This is delicate, and I understand each person has to come to their own conclusion on what God is leading them to do in regard with their family members. So let me just try and give some encouragement, starting with yesterday’s topic. Love over everything! ! ! ! ! ! People need to know that you love them before they know anything else! 
 
Let me help you with the Great Commission for a moment. 
 
Matthew 28:18 says this
All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always to the very end of the age.
 
What is the progression of this command? 
 
Go take disciples of all nations. What is a disciple? 
 
The greek word here is - mathēteuō - meaning a pupil or learner. So the first thing we are to invite people into is a relationship where they learn something important. . . It’s not the rules and regulations God calls us to obey. What is the next part of the command? Baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. IN order to baptize them in the name of the trinitarian God, they better be a pupil that learns and understands who this God really is. That’s the first part of the command. It is teaching all nations to have a relationship with the living God. Then, the final part of the command is - teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. 
 
So for me, there is a distinct difference between a person who claims to believe and know Jesus, and a person who has no idea what this is all about. They are in a different part of this journey. Those who have been baptized and claim to already know Jesus - they should be able to be called to a different standard. Because at that point, they are to be learning to obey everything Jesus has commanded. Someone who does not confess to be a Christian, who is struggling to understand why Christians talk the way they do and believe the way they do, my first job is simply to get them into a relationship where they understand the living God. I must introduce them to Jesus - not his rules. The Lord is relational. He wants all people to know him and be brought into relationship with him first and foremost. It is only through relationship that we learn to obey everything he teaches us. 
 
Listen to 1 John 5:3
This is love for God: to keep his commands. And his commands are not burdensome,
 
Why aren’t God’s commands burdensome? 
 
Because when you actually come into relationship with the living God, you want nothing more than to continue in his presence. This leads you to obedience of his commands in a way that is pleasing to him. 
 
See, I will never expect a non-christian to begin acting in a way that Christians should act. That’s the path of maturity after learning to follow Jesus. But the first step is to follow Jesus. 
 
So for all of you who have friends living alternative lifestyles, love them to pieces! Don’t try to change them or tell them their actions are wrong. Introduce them to Jesus! After all, it is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict! Not ours! 
 
So what about a family member, how do you handle this? 
 
Well, you love them! You spend as much time with them as you possibly can so that you can show them who Jesus is! I make it my point not to tell others what I believe unless it is in a safe conversation that I am invited into. I do not openly give my opinion to someone about their lifestyle without them asking me to speak on it. 
 
I personally would never go to a gay wedding. For me, marriage is such a sacred thing, that I feel the concept of a same sex marriage to be a blatant disregard of how God created marriage. I will not participate in that. However, I will bring them dinner, invite them over, find ways to have relationship with them. And should they ask why I didn’t go to their wedding, I will be ready to have a reason that helps them understand where I stand with marriage. Hopefully a door gets opened to tell them the love of Jesus. 
 
Because that’s what it is all about friends. 
 
We must be people who present Jesus to the world around us. That can only happen when we are full of love, and show others who Jesus is. So love, love, love. And when you are done loving - LOVE SOME MORE!  
 
 

You’re listening to OKY. The place where we discuss what we believe and why we believe it to be true! After a week talking about sex and sexuality, I have a great question here from Grace who asks this, “Is it just me, or does it seem like people really do frown upon homosexuality sin more than others? And if yes, why do you think that is? In my opinion, I think people should show love and empathy to others, even if they are sinners. And what if you have a close family member or friend who is gay, aren’t we supposed to love people no matter what?”
 
GREAT question Grace!!!! 
 
Thank you for asking it! 
 
And I hope everyone heard me on the last few weeks of podcasts. My goal was never to disrespect or treat people less than! Everyone deserves to be loved and respected no matter what. Our job is to love one another! 
 
In fact, listen to this; 
 
This is Jesus’s words in Luke 6:27-36
 
But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. 
 
If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
 
FEW!!
 
Great words from Jesus himself! 
 
He lays it out clearly here to everyone. You should show love to everyone, including the people who are your enemies! Those that hate you - love them! Those who curse you - bless them. Someone who slaps you on the cheek - turn the other cheek to them. Give to those who ask and don’t expect repayment from them. 
 
What is Jesus saying here? Everything he points to is countercultural to what the world would do. When someone is your enemy, it is expected that you would hold a resentment toward them. When someone hates you - it’s easily excused that you would do something in return to them that is brought to the level of their hatred toward you. 
 
But Jesus is saying that we should be different. We should be the people so full of love, that we act in a way that the rest of culture wouldn’t act in. 
 
So to Grace’s question, first of all - We should be a people more deeply full of love than any other group of people. And this is know by our demonstration of love toward others at times when it would make sense to right someone off. the type of love that Jesus talks of here, is a love that is so sincere, it silences any talk against it. There is not room for anyone to accuse you or to feel like your enemy. 
 
And to your question, Grace, people do frown on homosexuality more than other sins. And this is a hard thing to navigate. The truth is, everyone has a level of sin that we are working through. There is not a person who is exempt from sin. We have all sinned. And some Christians would argue and say that homosexuality is deciding to live in sin openly and not turn away from it. Which is often justified as a sin then, that is much more severe. Yet, I know plenty of people who openly admit they do various sins and yet keep on doing them without worrying about the repercussions. Things like, spending money on wasteful things and creating a life without margin in a family they are supposed to are for. Or watching various inappropriate things and then justifying that they aren’t causing anyone any harm. . Or how about people who harbor bigotry and excuse it as - well that’s just the way I’ve been raised, or it’s because of the people I’ve worked with over the years. . . 
 
There is no good excuse for treating others wrong. We are called to love people no matter what. 
 
Now don’t confuse love and affirmation. They are actually two distinctly different things. And to love someone doesn’t necessarily mean to affirm them. The world has warped the idea of affirming someone. To them, love and affirmation are synonymous. Yet, a true loving relationship will love someone even though they don’t affirm their actions. For instance, if my son decided he wanted to play with hand grenades and started pulling the pins on them and throwing them up and catching them. . . I would have some very non-affirming words for his actions. Not because I don’t love him - but because I DO love him and don’t want him to get hurt. This is what real love looks like. I will do whatever I can to keep him safe, even if it means non-affirmation of his actions. 
 
The tension that Christian’s have to navigate, is to balance loving people so well that they know you are there for them, but loving people so well that you have the chance to speak life into their actions that are detrimental to them. 
 
I will say, Christians have gotten this so wrong for so long! We are so ready to call out sexuality as a sin, that we don’t care for the people who are battling such a lifestyle. We simply tell them what we believe. 
 
Here is the last thing I will say to this, and I will probably talk more on it tomorrow. 
 
If someone knows what I believe before they know that I love them, I AM IN THE WRONG! 
 
People should know how much I love them no matter what! Whether I agree, or disagree with their choices and lifestyle, they need to know I love them! The rest is secondary to that. 
 
So Christians, love your enemies. Go the extra mile to show people you care. Give them whatever you can without asking for it back in return. And show people what the true love of Christ is like. 
 
I’ll answer more about Homosexuality and how we handle it tomorrow.
 
But for now, that’s all the time we have left for today. I love you, and God bless!

Psalm 19

You’re listening to OKY. The place where we discuss what we believe and why we believe it to be true! We have been discussing all things sex and sexuality. And today I want to address the question, does the Bible talk about transgender people? 
 
Let me start by acknowledging that there are people who struggle with gender dysphoria and are trying to understand why they feel the way they do. I want to start by saying I love and respect you. I hate that you feel such discomfort and frustration. I don’t have to understand what you are feeling to love you and want you to find wholeness. I don’t bring up this topic to make you feel less than or that you don’t matter. I bring it up to help people understand what the Bible says and doesn’t say. I want to make sure people know the truth behind an ancient writing that helps us understand God through the eyes of the Hebrew people. For me, I believe this to be the best set of understandings about God. For fellow followers of Jesus, we hold the scriptures to be our source of life and pathway to truth. So it is important to understand what is written and why. 
 
Please know, I will do anything to help you find wholeness and life. And if you don’t agree with my understood pathway to that wholeness, I will love you without imposing my understanding on you. But I will still try to clarify the Bible so that there is no confusion on what it says. 
 
If you didn’t know this, This Wednesday the 12th is national detransition awareness day. This is a day set aside by people who have started the transition process, and either have stopped in the middle of it, or have regretted the process and tried to reverse whatever they could. The problem with it, is that most of the time there are pieces of the process that are irreversible. So this day is to help people stop and really process their options and outcomes - before jumping into a decision to transition. 
 
There is a lot of work done on rapid onset gender dysphoria. Dr. Linda Seiler wrote a book called TRANS-Formation. In it she talks about her journey as a young lady wanting to be a boy. She gives a lot of data and research on how this phenomenon is so rapidly spreading and what we are to think of it. I won’t be addressing much of this in today’s podcast, but I encourage you to give her a listen and see what she says after writing her doctoral dissertation on rapid onset gender dysphoria and what it means for our children.  
 
But today, I want to approach this by starting the conversation from a Hebrew understanding - This is important because this is the language and culture the Old Testament is written in, and is the culture and people the New Testament is written from. So it is important to think like a Hebrew when reading into scriptures that aren’t quite clear to us. It’s dangerous when someone takes a scripture and interprets it to mean what a modern western culture might understand it to be without stopping and asking the question, “does that align with the people of the Bible who wrote and understood this?”
 
 
 
So let’s start today’s conversation with one concept that was essential to the Hebrew people. It’s the word - ‘eḥāḏ - meaning - ONE. This is a word that the Jews say daily when they quote the Shema. You might not have hear the word Shema before, but I bet you’ve heard the first line of it, if not the entire thing. It is found in Deuteronomy 6:4 and says,
 
Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God, the Lord is one.
 
This, being an understanding of the character and parts of God, admits that though they are many, they are one. That word one - eḥāḏ
 
It is with the thought of this eḥāḏ that they understood Genesis 2:7
 
Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
 
Being - nep̄eš - meaning soul, self, life, creature, person, appetite, mind, living being, desire, emotion, passion - all in ONE. 
 
It is an understanding that the ruah - breath of God - was breathed into this dust of the ground and caused the physical body and the breath within it to become one. Which by the way is the same understanding that takes place once Adam and Eve are married and become one flesh. There is unity in the concept of the person and the union between husband and wife. The Hebrew intrinsically understood the concept that a person isn’t in conflict with themselves. They are to be united body mind and spirit. The goal is alignment as God is aligned. 
 
See, the presupposition for the Hebrew narrative is that a God harmoniously functioning as three in one, gave mankind the same treatment to harmoniously function in many parts as one. I mean listen to the next part of the Shema - Let me start it over with the beginning in Deuteronomy 6:4
 
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 
 
If you take the time to understand the Hebrew/Jewish culture, you begin to understand that the goal was oneness within self in order to align with the unified oneness of the living God. 
 
The thought that someone wouldn’t align within their inner self, needing some sort of transition to change them, is such a contradictory thought, that it would never have been part of their teaching. They knew that the unified God, created the human being in his image. This was a call for the human psyche and the human body to be in such alignment that there was no duality of existence. 
 
So when you hear people say that the Bible supports transgenderism, they are off base. Hear what I am saying though. Not because the Jews were transphobic. But because in their assessment there was no such thing as transgender. God only created a person to be whole as one - they were aligned in their thought as they were in the body. This is because they were made in the image of the unified single God who function in three persons. 
 
And before someone says that they must have then tried to align their body with their mind, their belief is that a person is born with the ability to be aligned. So if the body is physically made by God, the breath of God in the person aligns the inside with the physical creation God made on the outside. 
 
So to claim a verse is meant to be interpreted as trans affirming, is wrong simply by principle. The Bible doesn’t do much work on gender ideology for two main reasons. First, it is a more recent ideology. While in the past several hundred years we are able to point to various examples of people rejecting binary gender roles, the best we can do is interpret ancient writings to imply something we are addressing in modern times. There are no deep indications that there was an ancient dilemma of one finding their gender identity. 
 
Second, the Jewish understanding didn’t leave room for people to rebel against part of their makeup. They were supposed to find alignment with the body and spirit as God assigned it. They didn’t leave room for anything other than harmony inside of a person. This is affirmed in Paul’s writing in the New Testament as well as throughout the Bible. The thought is that we are to take captive our thoughts, align our hearts desires, and transform the mind so that it aligns with the physical role God placed us in. 
 
Do not conform any longer to the patterns of the world, but be transformed by - changing the way you think. Romand 12:2 (NLT)
 
And to read the Bible from the perspective of someone who didn’t write it, would mean you are missing something that was implied and presupposed. This is the danger with using Biblical texts to try and prove a modern ideology. It might not implicitly say something. But the text has to be contextualized for setting, audience, and author. All three of those. . . well. . . must eḥāḏ - be viewed as one, while reading the text. 
 
Tomorrow we will address specific text that are often used to prove a point in this conversation. 

You’re listening to OKY. The place where we discuss what we believe and why we believe it to be true! Today I want to answer a question from a friend, who asks, “Is it ok to marry someone who has been divorced?” 
 
This is a great question that has divided a lot of people. So I will do my best to answer why it is such a big question, why it matters, and what we can do about it today. But just to let you know, by the end of this, I will not give you permission to believe one way or the other. That is for you to wrestle with and try to understand. 
 
But first, let me remind you why marriage is so sacred to the Lord. 
 
Marriage is a contractural agreement between two people and God. If you listened last week to our sex conversations, it is through the union of two people that we experience unity in diversity, the purest intimacy possible, and companionship. All of these are meant to demonstrate the unity, intimacy, and companionship of the Lord. So God chose marriage as a symbol of what it looks like to be committed to someone in a lifelong relationship that works things out in order to build a healthy union. 
 
The Bible often refers to marriage as representing Christ’s love for the church. 
 
Paul instructs the men in Ephesus to love their wives as Christ loves the church. Listen to Ephesians 5:25-30
 
For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemishes. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. And we are members of this body. 
 
See the comparison there. Paul is helping us understand that a husband and wife are symbolic for the relationship that Jesus has for the church. So this is held in high standards, because the love of Jesus for the Church is in high standards. 
 
So that must mean divorce is a sin, right? 
 
Well, I do think it goes against God’s best design. Again, he designed marriage to show his devoted relationship toward his people. It is a symbol of God’s love. And it is considered by God to be a contract. It is the joining of two people together as one. Listen to what Jesus said in Matthew 19:3-9
 
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife of many and every reason?”
 
“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 
 
When it says that last part, What God has joined together. . This isn’t just talking about God’s approval at a wedding. This is talking about God’s design. Did you know that when two people have sex, they exchange DNA with each other and literally mix their chemistry together. They become one in more than symbology. And the endorphins that are released while being together, imprint images and lasting connections with each other that can’t easily be broken. This is the design of God. So he longs for marriage to be a lasting thing that doesn’t get ripped apart. 
 
But what is Jesus talking about when he says that Moses permitted divorce? 
 
Well go back to Deuteronomy 24:1-4
 
If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and send her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes a wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and send her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance. 
 
Well now consider this verse. Moses allowed for divorce for various reason, and even ended this section by making sure they were free from brining sin upon the land. So he let them divorce if the man found something wrong with the woman, but wouldn’t let him remarry her if she married another man in that time. 
 
So there are some inconsistencies even in the old testament law, that permitted divorce at certain times, yet did not allow it at others. . 
 
So let me do my best to give the best answer I can give. 
 
It is certainly not God’s desire and plan for someone to divorce. His desire is that two people would be covenantally united as one before him. This is his plan for our lives. 
 
The unfortunate part of God’s plan for our lives, is that it often involves other people. And the problem with that is - we can’t control other people’s actions and lives. So while I might marry someone, and believe it is what God has for me as his plan for my life. But if that person doesn’t also seek out God’s plan and believe in his plan for marriage, the marriage might end due to their lack of understanding God’s plan. 
 
At that point, does he condemn both people because one of them chose to ignore his plan? 
 
When I study the scriptures, here is what I see around the topic of divorce. It is the most real object lesson of what it feels like to the LORD when we commit adultery with other gods. When we allow ourselves to be attached to things that aren’t part of God’s plan, we become adulterous and it is like a divorce that breaks God’s heart. 
 
Listen to Jeremiah 3:1
 
If a man divorces his wife and she leaves him and marries another man, should he return to her again? Would not the land be completely defiled? But you have lived as a prostitute with many lovers-would you know return to me? Declares the LORD.
 
Jeremiah is again showing the symbolism. Yet even in the symbolism, there is a hint of the grace God has to still forgive and accept his people back to him. He will not cast them away because of their adultery. I mean, that’s the whole book of Hosea. If you haven’t read it, then I suggest you go and give it some time. It portrays Israel through Hosea’s wife Gomer who is a promiscuous woman. Hosea continually goes and retrieves her from other men’s beds. And God is saying this is how he is toward Israel. 
 
So I think the problem that God has with divorce, is that it displays the brokenness that he feels when his people turn their back on him. Marriage is meant to symbolize the commitment that God has for his people. 
 
At the end of the day, God is gracious and loving. He is full of justice as well. 
 
So divorce shouldn’t be taken lightly. It’s not God’s plan. Yet it’s not his plan for a person to be cast away from redemption either. So navigate the conversation with prayer. Find wise counsel. And seek the Lord no matter what. 
 
I think there is enough evidence to say that a divorce that resulted from an unfaithful spouse, leaves plenty of room for redemption with that person and another. But I would even say that God’s love is extended to those who did not want divorce, yet circumstance lead that way. Their life isn’t permanently broken. That’s the message of the gospel. So pray, seek counsel, and decide what you believe God is saying about that situation. Each situation is unique, and comes with a set of circumstances that have to be navigated through the grace of God, with the righteousness of God in mind. 
 
In short, God does not like divorce, because it demonstrates the pain he feels when we walk away from him. And he loves marriage, because it demonstrates the commitment he has for us and longs to have from us as well. But even more, be sure to seek the Lord’s approval before you ever marry! Build a relationship with Christ at the center. And as you do, he will help you build a marriage that never has to worry about divorce. This will represent the marriage God seeks between Jesus, and the church. . . Hows that for a non-answer? 

Psalm 42

You’re listening to OKY. The place where we discuss what we believe and why we believe it to be true! The last 4 days we have been discussing sex and sexuality. If you didn’t listen to march 3, 4, 5, and 6, go back and listen to those when you have a chance. Yesterday, I mentioned that I was going to address what happens when someone can’t have kids. Does that mean they are not part of God’s plan? So I want to do a little work on this today in order to continue the conversation. 
 
There are plenty of people who cannot have kids who long for a family in this way. I am so sorry for those who are walking through this and struggle in this way. But you have to believe that this does not limit God’s plan for your life! 
 
First of all, the conversation was around sex. Having children was another reason why God created sex in order to help us relate with him. We see that through procreation, we are invited into the process of creating, just as God created the entire world. And it helps reinforce unity of diversity. Children can’t be created without diversity. And the unity it brings helps us understand God’s uniting of two differing creations in order to extend life. But to be honest, the 4th reason for sex is more of an outcome than it is a reason. When we are united with God in this way, the outcome is that we have children. 
 
Looking at it this way will help us understand this more. The first three reasons, unity, intimacy, and companionship, are reasons for sex, and the outcome is procreation. This is because the unity with another draws us into understanding communion with a triune God who is able to function as one. This process brings us intimacy at the highest level with our spouse. The result is that we have companionship and the ability to procreate. 
 
Someone who is unable to have children for any reason, is still able to understand the first three reasons. To be honest, they are still able to understand procreation as well. They are just limited from experiencing it. 
 
Why? 
 
And why would God allow this? 
 
I wish I knew the answer to this. 
 
We don’t understand why God allows brokenness to continue with people who are seeking his presence. But we know it has been since the early days of the scriptures. 
 
The one who was promised to become a great nation through which all people would be blessed - Abraham - he was married to a woman who was unable to have children. We read about it in the book of Genesis. She was unable to conceive, yet God called her to be part of building the nation that would lead to Jesus. The child who would anoint the first king of Israel - Samuel - was born to Hannah, who was unable to have children and came to the temple begging for God to open her womb. Elizabeth was old and unable to have children, yet eventually God heard her prayers and she conceived of John the Baptist. All of these are great stories of God involving women who couldn’t bear children into the process of the big picture of God’s plan. This shows that the wasn’t ignoring them and that something was wrong with them. It was because of their obedience and faith that thy were invited into the process through childbirth. 
 
But perhaps the best story for this is the story of Jacob and Rachel. This is a great story that illustrates God’s love for those who do not have children. 
 
Let’s read Genesis 29:31 - 30:1-22, 
 
When the LORD saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, “It is because the LORD has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.” 
 
She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Because the LORD heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.” So she named him Simeon. 
 
Again she conceived, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” So he was named Levi. 
 
She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the LORD.” So she name him Judah. Then she stopped having children. 
 
When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, “Give me children, or I’ll die!”
 
Jacob became angry with her and said, “Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?” 
 
Then she said, “here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.” 
 
So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, and she became pregnant and bore him a son. Then Rachel said, “God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea nd given me a son.” Because of this she named him Dan.
 
Rachel’s servant Bilhah conceived agains and bore Jacob a second son. Then Rachell said, “I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.” So she named him Naphtali.
 
When Leah saw hat she had stopped having children, she took her servant Zilch and gave her to Jacob as a wife. Leah’s servant Zilch bore Jacob a son. Then Leah said, “What good fortune! So she name him Gad. 
 
Leah’s servant Zilch bore Jacob a second son. Then Leah said, “How happy I am! The women will call me happy.” So she name him Asher. 
 
During wheat harvest, Reuben went out into the fields and found some mandrake plants, which he brought to his mother Leah. Rachel said to Leah, “Please give me some of your son’s mandrakes.” 
 
But she said to her, “Wasn’t it enough that you took away my husband? Will you take my son’s mandrakes too?”
 
“Very well,” Rachel said, “he can sleep with you tonight in return for your son’s mandrakes.” 
 
So when Jacob came in from the fields that evening, Leah went out to meet him. “You must sleep with me,” she said. “I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes.” So he slept with her that night. 
 
God listened to Leah, and she became pregnant and bore Jacob a fifth son. Then Leah said, “God has rewarded me for giving my servant to my husband.” So she name him Issachar.
 
Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a sixth son. Then Leah said, “God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.” So she named him Zebulun.
 
Some time later she gave birth to ta daughter and named her Dinah. 
 
Then God remembered Rachel; he listens to her and enabled her to conceive. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son and said, “God has taken away my disgrace.” She name him Joseph, and said, “May the LORD add to me another son.” 
 
Ok, let’s dig this apart a little. 
 
If you don’t remember your Bible stories from being a kid, Jacob was tricked by uncle labon into marrying Leah, even though he thought he was marrying Rachel. He did not like Leah, and it was said that Rachel was far better looking. He was more attracted to her. But after working for 7 more years, Labon allowed Jacob to also marry Rachel. 
 
Listen to what it said in Genesis 29 - Leah was not loved, so God enabled her to conceive. 
 
This is why I said it is more a result of sex, although it is also a reason for sex. This is obviously how children are conceived. But it is not contingent for us to understand God as much as it is for us to participate with God. So God caused Leah to conceive, simply because she wasn’t loved by Jacob. She was missing the opportunity to find intimacy and companionship. So God showed special grace on her. 
 
But listen to the meaning of her kids names. . 
 
First Reuben - meaning misery - saying, “Because the Lord has seen my misery.” She even goes on to say, “Surely my husband will love me now.” 
 
Then she had Simeon - meaning one who hears - saying, “The Lord heard that I am not loved
 
Then she has Levi - meaning attached - saying, “Now at last my husband will become attached to me
 
Then, she again gave birth and named him Judah saying, “This time I will praise the LORD.” 
 
This forth child she was able to get away from the fact that she didn’t find intimacy and companionship with her husband, and was able to see that God was still with her. He was blessing her even if Jacob was not. Because of this, she doesn’t name him because of her pain and frustration with being unloved. She names him for the faithfulness and provision of God. And wouldn’t you know it. . . She gave birth to Judah. . Who would later become the Tribe of which is the family line of. . . . . JESUS! When she was able to understand God’s love, and celebrate it even though it wasn’t demonstrated by her relationship with Jacob, God gave her the son who would usher in the family line of Jesus. 
 
See, children are a blessing. And unfortunately, because of the curse, not everyone is able to conceive. And in addition, some lose their baby or are taken away from their baby. There is a lot of result to the curse of sin. But childbearing is a result of sex more than it is a reason for sex. God wanted us to participate in creation. But there is still the call to rule over the earth. That is just as much a part of the creation process. 
 
The funny thing is, God eventually remembers Rachel’s prayer and allows her to have children.. She understood the good ness of God and even understood God more because of her unity, intimacy and companionship. But God still wanted her to experience children, since it was such a strong desire for her. 
 
And she gave birth to Joseph. 
 
Jospeh means - may God add. Her prayer was that God would increase her family even more. 
 
Later in Genesis 35, Rachel dies in childbirth of Benjamin. 
 
This story is fascinating. Rachel knew God’s love because she understood her husband’s love. Leah had to have 4 children before she understood the love of God and the blessings he was giving her - all because her husband withheld intimacy and companionship from her. 
 
See, children are a result of sex, and they help us participate in God’s creative process. But it is unity, intimacy, and companionship that build the relationship. It is through those things that we understand God at a deeper level. 
 
I dont’ think God wants to withhold children from those who desire it. I think that is an unfortunate result of the curse brought on by sin. For those who can’t have children, I pray that God opens the possibility for you to have a baby. . But in the mean time, I encourage you to lean into the love of God through the relationship of you and your spouse. 
 
Today I was at Starbucks and I met Bhushan. He is a new friend from India who is longing for a family. His wife went back to India to get the IVF treatments. So we prayed that they would be successful in creating a child. But I prayed closeness over him and his spouse. That God would bring them into a deeper relationship that helps them experience the love of God. 
 
Children don’t do that. A right relationship with a spouse does that. It’s through true unity, intimacy, and companionship with our spouse, that we understand the deep love of God for us. 
 
I know I’m talking to some people who lack that in their marriage. I talk with people every day who wish their spouse would treat them differently because they are lacking true companionship. I talk with people all the time who struggle with intimacy because they can’t stand their spouse and the way they act. 
 
I think of Leah. A child won’t change that. And a child won’t even help you understand and experience God’s love. So I pray that God gives you a passionate intimacy and companionship with your spouse. I pray that more than anything else, you will put that person first. Because there, is where you experience the love God has for you! 
 
Pray
 
Taht’s all the time we have left for today. I love you, and God bless.  

You’re listening to OKY. The place where we discuss what we believe and why we believe it to be true! The last three days we have been discussing sex and sexuality. If you didn’t listen to march 3, 4, and 5, go back and listen to those first. And, as I unfold this conversation a little more, if you have any questions, comments, or pushback, please feel free to reach out me at michaelgrove1@icloud.com or by messaging me on instagram and Facebook, or by calling or texting 630-995-1253…
 
So let’s recap,
 
Reasons that God created sex and sexuality. . . 
 
1, unity
2, intimacy
3, companionship
 
And today number 4 - procreation. 
 
See, we think that God created sex for having babies, or for pleasure. 
 
Here is the fun thing about God. All things that God has put together for us to enjoy are pleasurable. That’s the type of God he is. He enjoys giving us the ability to enjoy life. So when he made sex, he made it in a way that would bring us pleasure. This helps us to understand the goodness of being with someone. It’s meant to keep us from wanting to simply be alone. 
 
Psalm 16:11 says, 
 
You make known to me the path of life; 
You will fill me with joy in your presence, 
With eternal pleasure at your right hand. 
 
God has a way that is full of pleasure. 
 
When sex is done with the first three reasons in mind, it brings the most joy and pleasure. There is no fear, no embarrassment, no disappointment, no pressure. Just joy and pleasure. And the fourth reason for this, is that it is how we reproduce. 
 
Genesis 1:28 says, 
God blessed them and said to them, “be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.”
 
This was God’s command to Them in order to invite them into the unity, intimacy, companionship, of being part of the creative process. So God gave them dominion to rule over all things, and then the order to continue populating the earth. See, the animals don’t need to be told twice. They just naturally reproduce. So if Mankind is going to rule over the animals that are reproducing, we had better continue to grow in numbers as well. 
 
All of this is God’s plan for sex. He designed it to help us be united. Again, its through diversity that we understand unity. And he wanted us to experience intimacy. So when we are united with someone, it brings us into intimacy. Then companionship grows. When we are truly one with someone, we have a companion that will be with us forever. So bringing kids into that type of relationship, the best thing ever!
 
So Here are four reasons I see in the scripture for why God created sex. All of them are designed to help us participate in God’s creative plan. When we have sex outside of these four things, we are missing God’s plan. 
 
Some at this point will say, “But what about people who can’t have kids. Does that mean they are missing God’s plan?” No! Not at all! I will address that one tomorrow. 
 
But for now, that’s all the time we have left for today. I love you, and God bless. 

You’re listening to OKY. The place where we discuss what we believe and why we believe it to be true! The last two days we have been discussing sex and sexuality. If you didn’t listen to march 3 and 4, go back and listen to those first. And, as I unfold this conversation a little more, if you have any questions, comments, or pushback, please feel free to reach out me at michaelgrove1@icloud.com or by messaging me on instagram and Facebook, or by calling or texting 630-995-1253…
 
So we’ve seen two reasons why God created sex and sexuality. The first one, is so that we can understand unity. When two things that are diverse agree together as one, they are unified like the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Able to function as one, even though they are 3 parts. 
 
Then yesterday we saw that sex is something that helps us understand intimacy inside of that unity. It is the most vulnerable and committed unity one might ever experience. It is important to note that each of these builds upon the other. So outside of unity, intimacy doesn’t happen the same way. An intimate experience between two diversely different beings takes things to a whole deeper level. Then, there is the next component. 
 
Genesis 2:18-22
The Lord God said, “it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” 
 
Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals. 
 
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
 
The man said, 
 
“This is now bone of my bones
And flesh of my flesh’
She shall be called ‘woman,’
For she was taken out of man.” 
 
That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. 
 
Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame. 
 
This is a great text that actually covers all of the first three reasons God created sex and sexuality. Which, by the way, the three reasons I’ve given and am about to give, are not systematic. It’s not that God said here is the first reason, and here is the second. This is the order I am choosing to give them in, because I think they show the heart of what God is trying to get at even more than just naming them as they appear in the scriptures. 
 
But look at the first one. God created sex for us to understand unity, Eve was taken out of Adam and was different. Yet the two became one. In fact, the text goes on to say that this is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. This is the unity of what God intended. 
 
Second, we see intimacy. It says that they were naked and felt no shame. When sin comes in a the next chapter, shame is introduced because it breaks intimacy with each other. They then learn to not be intimate with God as they hide from him in the garden. 
 
But the third reason God created sex and sexuality, is because Adam was alone. God brought all the animals to Adam in order that he might name them. This was God inviting Adam into the creation process with him. But there was no creature that would fulfill Adam. He was incomplete. Remember, that word good that we see in the creation narrative is a word of completion. It’s a functional word that shows something is able to exist in the way God designed it to. But Adam, could not. He was alone. 
 
So God made a counterpart for him. 
 
Why? Because he was alone. 
 
There was no way for him to experience unity. No way for him to experience intimacy. And no way for him to experience what we will talk about tomorrow. He was alone. . . . 
 
God didn’t want Adam to miss out on experiencing everything else, so he created him - what in the Hebrew - is a help mate. Someone to bring him into completion. Yes, Jerry Mguire had it right. To woman, man should say - You complete me. . . 
 
See, true companionship comes  - not from sex - but from unity, intimacy, and the ability to be together. When you have a spouse who works along side of you to help you become everything that you are supposed to be, that’s companionship. Marriages are build on people who are designed to complement one another. They fill in and compensate for each others weaknesses. Together, a couple can reach a stronger status of health and life, as they support one another through the best of times and the worst of times. Marriage is designed to be an example for those around you. This is what healthy life and relationship looks like. And, it is designed to model relationship with the Heavenly Father. 
 
Now what does that mean for single people? 
 
That is the question that most single people will ask me at this point. 
 
And they are looking for some validation that they matter without a spouse. 
 
And they do! 
 
That however, has nothing to do with God’s created purpose for sex.  
 
So I won’t address singleness in this podcast, other than to say, God intended this type of unity and intimacy and even companionship to be experienced through marriage. Does that mean that single people get ripped off unless they are married? Not at all. They get to stand as witness to what healthy relationships look like. They pull and learn from healthy marriages to understand the love God has for them as well. It’s why there are so many conversations about and around marriage in the Bible. Even the final banquet when we go to see Jesus is called “the marriage super of the Lamb.” But that doesn’t mean that single people are less than or have a less than relationship with the Lord. He uses marriage for all people to see and understand intimacy. It’s through marriage that he illustrates unity in diversity. And it’s through marriage that he shows others what true companionship looks like. 
 
So what should you do if you are married? 
 
Be the best example of unit you can ever portray. This looks like being one in how you talk and present yourself. It means being aligned in ideology and practices. It looks like keeping vows of intimacy to remain between husband and wife, making sure that no one else has access to the same level of intimacy with you than your spouse. And, it means being great companions with one another. Sharing the best and worst parts of who you are, how you feel, and what your day is like. If you do this, you will be perfectly aligned for the fourth and final part of why God created sex and sexuality.. . . . But I’ll tell that to you tomorrow. For now, that’s all the time we have left for today. I love you, and God bless!